Posted: Thu 19th Nov 2015 00:38
Just something I was pondering today (and a lot of days!) I have been feeling of late how little support mothers get at home... how hard we try and work to bring in extra pennies whilst being at home because we made that choice ... how we are not entitled to this benefit and that. The reward for me being a mother at home is so great and I would not change it for the world... but yes, I do have holes in my shoes (at the time of writing!) but I don't feel sorry for myself. I see those holes as very significant to how little motherhood is prized and valued and the holes make me so glad that despite all the noise and the clamour of 'when are you going back to work?' I stayed with my gut, my instinct, my right!
I have always worked and I see motherhood as work, valuable work. I don't believe that I should be forced to make a choice between raising my children and earning a living. My work is 24/7 and whilst my babies sleep I write... I am a song writer, a novelist, I have ghost-written, I am in the middle of writing an album. I make the most and use every single moment I have. When motherhood is cherished and valued (and parenthood... speaking more from my perspective here!) to the point where the mother is championed for being 'at home' rather than penalised and pressured at every turn to 'return to work', we will see great shifts in how our society works!
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Hello, I'm a mother, I have holes in my shoes.
I have one bra... I need two, or three. The one I have is nearly done but I have to make do.
Some days we scour the cupboards and realise that it's not actually bare... there are old bags of lentils and potatoes in there.
Cinema, holidays, trips to big cities are replaced by simple walks, leaf collecting, singing little ditties...
I have no spare change to give to people in the streets... I often see their hand outstretched and think, I know where you're coming from, I'm also in need.
We were fortunate with friends, they gave us their clothes
The baby never had to want for anything, we have more than most.
Our rented home came with everything we needed, which was a blessing because we'd given all our big things away to work overseas....
I'm not complaining, just telling it how it is. I love being a mother and there's no way I'd trade it.
I get to be with my baby from dusk until dawn, in the midst of the night, in the sweet early morn.
I get to hear all her first words, her sweet baby voice,
To witness how she moves around our home, how she negotiates, makes a choice.
I love, I wonder and marvel every day, I made this choice for it all to be this way.
So whilst this hole in my shoe, it's real, it exists, not sure when I'll get another pair but listen to this...
My baby said ten new words today! She cuddled me for a hour before she drifted away...
I get to hold her and watch her as she sleeps, we eat lunch together, I listen, she speaks!
The rain gets in to the holes in my shoes... I work when baby sleeps and I'll carry this through
It just might take its time, I'll persevere, I'll work hard
I'm staying with my baby because it's my choice, my life, my right...
Hello, I'm a mother, I carried her in my womb... I nurtured her for nearly a year, I birthed her into this world, this room... I carried her, I wanted her, I asked for her, I prayed for her... I want to be with her every day and my love as a mother makes me feel this way.
Hello, I'm a mother, I have holes in my shoes...
They remind me that this is where I want to be.
Victoria Leith Nov 19th 2015
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